things that are depressing: me and my last blog post. i mean, MAN. i'm totally fine and have fully recovered after hitting that culture-shock wall of fatigue and negativity. sorry peeps.
though i barely made it to bangalore in one piece (typical frampton family luck with all things related to travel), i'm still alive and actually am encountering much success with my ISP here. i know, i can't believe it either. i'm staying in an apartment with 2 women who are friends of azimji, my academic director. they're super nice and friendly and feed me and laugh at my attempts to be funny. always appreciated. the apartment is in cook town, a small residential neighborhood in bangalore that is situated to the side of the hustle and bustle of the city. i arrived on sunday, the 8th, and somehow, BY THE GRACE OF GOD, haven't gotten lost yet. looks like the starts are aligning for little komal. boo yeah.
since sangama (the NGO i'm working with for my ISP) is open from tuesday to saturday, i spent all day monday watching terrible movies on tv like "the clique" and "species: the awakening". these movies are LEGIT the only kinds of american films that come on the telly, aka there's not much surprise to why people think american culture is a joke. i also ate close to 10 indian oranges that day. monday was heavenly.
naturally, tuesday brought me great anxiety as i was meeting with shubha, the director of sangama, as well as the rest of the staff. the day started out right with some scrambled eggs and some NOT getting lost on my way to work in this big-ass city. my autorickshaw driver dropped me off on sangama's street and i started walking down, asking people along the way if they knew where my little NGO was. mostly, no one had a clue as to what i was looking for, but eventually on man i asked replied, "oh, the women's organization..." "yyyeeeeeaaaahhhh...the women's organization...", i confirmed. the day before i left for bangalore, i received an email from the US embassy instructing all american students/visitors in india to keep a low-profile and stay away from big cities. seeing that i'm in BANGALORE, the IT capital of india, and working for a SEXUAL MINORITIES ORGANIZATION that protests and fights openly for equal rights, i decided not to correct the man by telling him that sangama works for hijras, transgenders, lesbians, bisexuals, kothis, double deckers, and sex workers. instead, i just let him lead me to the green building that sat discretely at the end of the block.
i walked up the stairs, certain that my anxiety-induced nausea was going to actually materialize on the body of the first person i shook hands with. this, fortunately, was not this case. i was immediately greeted by akkai, a kothi who has been working in the information division of sangama for seven years. kothis are men who have the personalities of women, and akkai, true to his nature, was super affectionate and gave me a hug and some reading material on sangama. i sat in a side office, pretending to read while, in reality, i was trying not to wet my pants in fear and intimidation of meeting shubha.
30 minutes later, shubha walked in the room. i could instantly tell that she was the backbone of the organization. she greeted me with a calm authority and asked casual questions before getting down to bidnass. what do i expect from sangama? what do i want to do with my internship? why exactly was i here?-- all of these things she wanted to know, and being the opposite of cool, calm, and collected, i almost choked on my tongue explaining my purpose and my presence. i told her that i wanted to help sangama in anyway i could through whatever volunteer work that was available, but that i wanted to specifically research, work with, and interview hijras. shubha immediately took the reins and said that i should conduct a survey among a community of hijras--the survey would include questions that sangama wants answered as well as questions that i want answered. i agreed that this was a great idea and spent the rest of the day reading material around which i could frame my questions. i also spent the rest of the day trying to fit in, which has GOT to be the BIGGEST joke of my LIFE. wait, wait, WAIT. let me just talk about the staff here. it's actually diversity 101. hijras, transexuals, lesbians, kothis, bisexuals, gay men, straight men, straight women-- these are the kinds of people who make up the work force at sangama. it's a beautiful thang.
day two at sangama was pretty unbelievable. akkai, who is quickly becoming my new best friend (turns out we have the same taste in guys), took me to sangama's office near the city market where we sat in on a meeting with sangama's health coordinators. sangama is instrumental in treating and educating the public on HIV/AIDS. their awareness campaign spans the entire city of bangalore. the NGO divides has divided the city into zones and each zone has a health clinic-- complete with medicine and staff to serve those who have HIV/AIDS and those who are vulnerable to contracting HIV/AIDS. again, the meeting was led by persons from all types of sexual orientations and gender identities. akkai introduced me in kannada (the local language in bangalore), telling them who i was, why i was there, what i was researching, etc. when he was finished, everyone stood up and started clapping. i almost drowned the room in happy tears. it is so incredible to me that people who are shunned by society, rejected by their families, denied human rights daily, and abused by government officials can be so welcoming. even though the greater community has turned it's back on these individuals, they still have maintained a moving, heartwarming sense of humanity and love for others. it's hard for me to remember a time when, as an outsider, i felt so included.
the day continued on in a magical manner until lunchtime. akkai asked me what i wanted for lunch and i told him that i wanted whatever he was having. when lunch was delivered, i sat down on the floor with the rest of the staff, ready to indulge in some savory, south indian delight. i was handed a sack wrapped in newpaper that was tied together with string. i slowly opened my edible present to find a mountain of rice. i had unwrapped close to three pounds of straight up carbs. in the middle of our little eating circle, there were three limp bags filled with red sauce-- someone passed me a bag and told me to pour it onto the rice. i did this and obviously poured too much becuase the result was soup. please keep in mind that i'm eating off of newspaper-- material that doesn't make the best bowl, aka my lunch was creeping out on all sides, trying to escape. i looked around quickly trying to find a spoon, fork, shovel-- anything that would right this wrong. i eyed the room frantically, only to find discover that, in south india, hands are eating utensils. thus, when i say that i ate with my hands, i really mean that i bathed in rice. it was a rice shower actually, what with the lake of sauce that i dumped on the rice. furthermore, the sauce was 2,000 degrees and i think my fingers have blisters/permanent burn scars from scooping the lavaa into my mouth. it was delish, 100%, but i have a hard time enjoying meals during which i resemble a wild animal/nomad starved for food.
needless to say, i recovered from lunch and moved onto much bigger things. i interviewed 5 hijras in the office at 4 that afternoon with my loyal helper-turned-best-friend akkai acting as translator. i was surprised at how comfortable i was with the hijras from the start. their warm nature made it so easy and enjoyable to talk with them, and within 20 minutes, i started seeing them as women, not transgendered men. they were overwhelmingly willing to chat with me and didn't hesitate to share their more painful experiences as hijras, specifically instances that involved police brutality and family rejection. our conversation hit on just about every emotion-- shortly after they had finished recalling a particularly unpleasant memory, they were all smiles talking on what they love the most about being hijras. holding my hand and occasionally playing with my hair, the hijras spoke with me for close to 2 hours, a time frame that i'm sure would have been extended had they not have had to start their sex work around 6:30 that evening.
finishing our chat with chai, i tried to find the words to tell them how appreciative i was of their time and honesty. but even after i told them that, there was so much more that i wanted to say-- that they're beautiful, beautiful people who deserve every right that i seem to take for granted everyday, that their sincerity and kindness makes we want to hang out with them all the time, that they can come to new orleans for mardi gras and stay with me next year...
where were the rude, swindling, hate-filled hijras that i had read so much about? where were the hijras that i was told to fear? they certainly weren't sitting on the sloor with me, asking what kind of shampoo i use and admiring my eyebrow ring, and they definitely weren't the sweet women who were thanking me for caring about them.
this study is already proving to be entirely invaluable. i'll be sure to keep you updated.
peace to ya,
komal
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Sunday, November 1, 2009
what i want.
i want american halloween, curry-free food, and a hot shower. i want dupont library, sewanee winter, and lorena's. i want less pollution, more personal space, and my own car. i want to eat crawfish, speak english, and show my knees in public. i want a reliable internet connection, a reliable schedule, and a reliable means of communication, transportation, and evaluation. i want no honking horns, no staring crowds, and no chai (pj's coffee. please.). i want to play ratface with don, colleen, harrison and mccord. i want to walk around audubon park, cruise through whole foods, and watch dumb, dumb tv shows. i want to hear stories about georgie ferrell, sit in mclurg for hours, and drive to morgan's steep. i want air conditioning, a laundry machine, and my bed. i want new orleans brass bands, new orleans nightlife, and new orleans friends. i want to walk banana around the block with dad, coddle zulu with mom, and play rock band with mccordian. i want comfort, and familiarity, and home.
it's been 2 months, and this is what i want.
it's been 2 months, and this is what i want.
Monday, October 19, 2009
time to move on, time to get goin'.
great news, my friends. i got an email back from the NGO that i want to work with during my independent study and they 100% invited me to come and intern with them for the month. so, so exciting.
for those of you who don't know, the independent study porject (ISP) is the main component of the academic curriculum with SIT. it's a study that students individually design entirely on their own, tweaking the focus of the project to exactly what each student is interested in actively researching while in india. it's so cool to see that each person comes up with seperately, and even cooler that SIT lets us do this in the first place.
while my academic campus is stationed in jaipur for the first two months of my stay here, the ISP you design can take you anywhere in india. each person chooses the location that is the most beneficial to his/her study, aka i'll spend my time in a place where there are a significant amount of resources at my disposal, such as NGOs, public figures, organization officials, etc. once one decides on a location, he/she will stay there, all-by-self, for the next four weeks. usually, students live in a guesthouse or an apartment, and while each person will be keeping in contact with azimji and others at the SIT office in jaipur, students will live independently until the 4 weeks are up. exciting? yes. terrifying? definitely. can't wait.
i've chosen to focus my month-long study on the hijras of bangalore. hijras are male-to-female transgenders who hold a role in society that is entirely unique and overwhemlingly complex. hijras believe that they are too effiminate for the physique of a man, and in an effort to parellel their bodies with their personalities, the hijras alter their physical appearance by fully castrating themselves. because the majority of indian society sees "man" and "woman" as the only two natural options of life forms, hijras face severe abuse, harrassment, and isloation as a result of the lifestyles they embrace. they're victims of constant police brutality, ostracized to the outskirts (mostly slums) of towns, and denied basic human rights.
however, while the hijras are seen as a stain to society in one instance, they also have great power and authority in certain circumstances.
castration is also seen as an act of devotion to certain gods and goddesses, and because of this, hijras hold an auspicious role in society as those who have the power to bestow fertility to newlyweds and health to newborns. their presence is requested (and socially required) at marriages and births, and they are capable of cursing those who don't invite them to oversee these events. yet, at the same time, hijras are controlled and abused by the very people they bless and curse.
police brutality has become a serious issue for hijras, especially in bangalore. a high-tech tourist city that's seen a lot of progressive change, bangalore is an area with a large concentration of hijras. this southern indian city is home to plenty of NGOs that are fighting for human rights for all. one such organization that is working hard to improve the lives of hijras and other sexual minorities is Sangama. this NGO offers everything from a 24 hour helpline to HIV/AIDS information to bail for victims of false charges and police violence. Sangama has provided aid to countless individuals and is an organzation that is slowly creating social change by fighting for equal rights in a climate that is severely hostile to sexual minorities.
this is the NGO that i've been wanting to work with and just got their approval to do so. LITTLE STORY-- so, i've been in contact with Sangama representatives via email-- exchanging information about myself/my ISP intentions/the start date of my internship. WELL, last week, i was in the bazaar with my friend chelsea and i was trying to get a blouse stitched for a saree. i know i don't need to tell you that living here is like living on the sun, so, needless to say, i was sweating a lot which is the WORST when some older man is measuring every which way around the top half of your body. not to mention that after chelsea and i chose to shop in this certain store, about 300000 more people came in and everyone was yelling and bargaining and being fiesty. the climate was hot and stressful and i was a wee bit flustered.
so, during all of this, i somehow manage to hear my "om shanti om" ringtone. an unknown number was calling me and i assumed that it was the cell phone service that calls me LITERALLY 5 TIMES A DAY yelling at me in hindi. thinking this, i answer the phone stressed and annoyed. the voice on the other line had such a thick indian accent and that, coupled with the noise level in the small shop, made it just about impossible to understand the person talking to me. sooooo, because i could not hear a thing, i basically repeated these words (in a high-pitched, hesitant voice) over and over again for the first 45 seconds of the conversation: "oooohh...riiiightt...yep...okkkkk". i definitely would have kept this front up had i not miraculously caught the word "Sangama" about a minute into the call. AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME. it was my NGO calling and i had spent the first half of our phone call sounding like a newborn baby who had no tongue and couldn't speak english. SOLID first impression. i had totally forgotten that i had given them my cell phone number in my first email and was NOT expecting a call. i'm sure they're second guessing their decision to host me for a month.
not much else has been going down in j-town. it's still as hot as hades. have i ever mentioned that i don't have air conditioning? my floor MIGHT break through due to water damage from my long nights of endless sweat.
mmm. roll that image over in your head. i'm so attractive, it hurts.
love, love, love,
ccf
for those of you who don't know, the independent study porject (ISP) is the main component of the academic curriculum with SIT. it's a study that students individually design entirely on their own, tweaking the focus of the project to exactly what each student is interested in actively researching while in india. it's so cool to see that each person comes up with seperately, and even cooler that SIT lets us do this in the first place.
while my academic campus is stationed in jaipur for the first two months of my stay here, the ISP you design can take you anywhere in india. each person chooses the location that is the most beneficial to his/her study, aka i'll spend my time in a place where there are a significant amount of resources at my disposal, such as NGOs, public figures, organization officials, etc. once one decides on a location, he/she will stay there, all-by-self, for the next four weeks. usually, students live in a guesthouse or an apartment, and while each person will be keeping in contact with azimji and others at the SIT office in jaipur, students will live independently until the 4 weeks are up. exciting? yes. terrifying? definitely. can't wait.
i've chosen to focus my month-long study on the hijras of bangalore. hijras are male-to-female transgenders who hold a role in society that is entirely unique and overwhemlingly complex. hijras believe that they are too effiminate for the physique of a man, and in an effort to parellel their bodies with their personalities, the hijras alter their physical appearance by fully castrating themselves. because the majority of indian society sees "man" and "woman" as the only two natural options of life forms, hijras face severe abuse, harrassment, and isloation as a result of the lifestyles they embrace. they're victims of constant police brutality, ostracized to the outskirts (mostly slums) of towns, and denied basic human rights.
however, while the hijras are seen as a stain to society in one instance, they also have great power and authority in certain circumstances.
castration is also seen as an act of devotion to certain gods and goddesses, and because of this, hijras hold an auspicious role in society as those who have the power to bestow fertility to newlyweds and health to newborns. their presence is requested (and socially required) at marriages and births, and they are capable of cursing those who don't invite them to oversee these events. yet, at the same time, hijras are controlled and abused by the very people they bless and curse.
police brutality has become a serious issue for hijras, especially in bangalore. a high-tech tourist city that's seen a lot of progressive change, bangalore is an area with a large concentration of hijras. this southern indian city is home to plenty of NGOs that are fighting for human rights for all. one such organization that is working hard to improve the lives of hijras and other sexual minorities is Sangama. this NGO offers everything from a 24 hour helpline to HIV/AIDS information to bail for victims of false charges and police violence. Sangama has provided aid to countless individuals and is an organzation that is slowly creating social change by fighting for equal rights in a climate that is severely hostile to sexual minorities.
this is the NGO that i've been wanting to work with and just got their approval to do so. LITTLE STORY-- so, i've been in contact with Sangama representatives via email-- exchanging information about myself/my ISP intentions/the start date of my internship. WELL, last week, i was in the bazaar with my friend chelsea and i was trying to get a blouse stitched for a saree. i know i don't need to tell you that living here is like living on the sun, so, needless to say, i was sweating a lot which is the WORST when some older man is measuring every which way around the top half of your body. not to mention that after chelsea and i chose to shop in this certain store, about 300000 more people came in and everyone was yelling and bargaining and being fiesty. the climate was hot and stressful and i was a wee bit flustered.
so, during all of this, i somehow manage to hear my "om shanti om" ringtone. an unknown number was calling me and i assumed that it was the cell phone service that calls me LITERALLY 5 TIMES A DAY yelling at me in hindi. thinking this, i answer the phone stressed and annoyed. the voice on the other line had such a thick indian accent and that, coupled with the noise level in the small shop, made it just about impossible to understand the person talking to me. sooooo, because i could not hear a thing, i basically repeated these words (in a high-pitched, hesitant voice) over and over again for the first 45 seconds of the conversation: "oooohh...riiiightt...yep...okkkkk". i definitely would have kept this front up had i not miraculously caught the word "Sangama" about a minute into the call. AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME. it was my NGO calling and i had spent the first half of our phone call sounding like a newborn baby who had no tongue and couldn't speak english. SOLID first impression. i had totally forgotten that i had given them my cell phone number in my first email and was NOT expecting a call. i'm sure they're second guessing their decision to host me for a month.
not much else has been going down in j-town. it's still as hot as hades. have i ever mentioned that i don't have air conditioning? my floor MIGHT break through due to water damage from my long nights of endless sweat.
mmm. roll that image over in your head. i'm so attractive, it hurts.
love, love, love,
ccf
Monday, October 12, 2009
Thursday, October 8, 2009
just a lil list.
THINGS I ALREADY KNOW I WILL MISS WHEN I LEAVE INDIA:
1. wearing leggings everyday.
not only is this fashion culturally acceptable, but it's the proper attire. every morning i wake up and have the easiest time getting ready. leggings are paired with a long, loose shirt and pashemina. can't go wrong. and, if by chance i don't feel like wearing leggings, the other appropriate option is a pair of baggy, breezy pants that would, i'm sure, double as a parachute. they're huge and awesome and very stylin'.
2. the vegetable man that comes down my street.
this might be my favorite part of my neighborhood. every morning, while i'm drinking my chai at the kitchen table, i hear a voice yelling "subjhii, subjhii!". this has been a constant occurrence ever since i arrived in my homestay abode and i went out to investigate for the first time the other morning. i discovered an elderly man pushing a vegetable cart up and down my street. every AM he comes, always around 7:45, to cater to the neighborhood's vegetable needs. i have no idea how long he's been doing this as opposed to selling amongst all other vendors in the open air market, but i really love how personable buying produce is in this city.
3. BOLLYWOOD.
i know. i never thought that i'd say it either, but i am obsessed with indian movies. the plots are absolutely outrageous, the interaction between the characters is super unrealistic, it's in hindi with no subtitles so i can't understand a damn thing and, worst of all, there's choreographed song and dance. you all know how i feel about musicals (vomit). but there's something about bollywood that i just can't get enough of. the colors in the scenery and clothes are pretty unbelievable and the music is bangin', but i think what i love most about the indian movie scene is the following that the films gather. each screening of every movie is always packed. you would think that david beckham was performing a live striptease for free from the overwhelming attendance. and, the audience actively responds to the movie. people are always shouting out during really intense scenes, advising the characters on what to do. AND PEOPLE DANCE IN THE AISLES DURING THE MIDDLE OF THE MOVIE. it's incredible. the music is that good that people just get up and break it down at anytime during the film. the other week, i saw this movie called "dil bole hadippa", translating to "the heart says hooray". it's basically the indian version of "she's the man", except instead of playing soccer, they're playing cricket. words can't express how good it was. berkeley-- it's better than "practical magic". guppy-- it's better than "ironman".
4. my host family.
yeah. how cute am i for saying this? but really. me and my peeps are getting really tight. the other week, we went out to dinner and my host mom held my hand ALL THE WAY until we got to the table. ALSO-- after dinner, we got all of these sweets and my host sister-in-law fed me with her hands (!!!). this may sound a lil unclean (like everything in this country), but it's actually a bigtime compliment and MAJOR bonding agent. feeding someone with your hands is a symbol of friendship and love-- that person physically wants to give you nourishment because they value you. i almost choked on my sweet i was so excited. more good news-- i bought my family this cheese spread because i finished off the container that we had at the house (not surprising...) and my host mom just about passed out she was so excited/flattered that i had brought it upon myself to buy more. BIG STRIDES IN FRIENDSHIP, BIG STRIDES.
5. the SIT staff.
ok. i know this post is getting really gushy and sentimental, but before you call me a suck-up, let me describe my relationship with these fine, fine people. these are the peeps who received me straight off the airplane in delhi and sheltered me during my first week in india that can be described only as one, big panic attack. these are the people who i turn to when i have any problem-- stomach ache, cell phone issues, need for stapler, hindi extra help, shopping advice, etc. these are the people who laugh with me (and sometimes at me) because they understand and realize that my life is one huge series of ridiculous situations stitched together. these are the people who have started calling my "bhahut komal". as i previously mentioned, my hindi name "komal" means "soft" and "bhahut" means "extra" or "very". aka, they're calling my "extra soft". i'm going to assume that it's because there's a popular advertisement for soap on TV that now coins the phrase "bhahut komal" and not because i'm gaining weight like a bear ready for hibernation. they are all temporary moms and dads but we all love them like they've been in our family since day one of our lives.
basically, india suits me really well.
lots of love to ya,
ccf
1. wearing leggings everyday.
not only is this fashion culturally acceptable, but it's the proper attire. every morning i wake up and have the easiest time getting ready. leggings are paired with a long, loose shirt and pashemina. can't go wrong. and, if by chance i don't feel like wearing leggings, the other appropriate option is a pair of baggy, breezy pants that would, i'm sure, double as a parachute. they're huge and awesome and very stylin'.
2. the vegetable man that comes down my street.
this might be my favorite part of my neighborhood. every morning, while i'm drinking my chai at the kitchen table, i hear a voice yelling "subjhii, subjhii!". this has been a constant occurrence ever since i arrived in my homestay abode and i went out to investigate for the first time the other morning. i discovered an elderly man pushing a vegetable cart up and down my street. every AM he comes, always around 7:45, to cater to the neighborhood's vegetable needs. i have no idea how long he's been doing this as opposed to selling amongst all other vendors in the open air market, but i really love how personable buying produce is in this city.
3. BOLLYWOOD.
i know. i never thought that i'd say it either, but i am obsessed with indian movies. the plots are absolutely outrageous, the interaction between the characters is super unrealistic, it's in hindi with no subtitles so i can't understand a damn thing and, worst of all, there's choreographed song and dance. you all know how i feel about musicals (vomit). but there's something about bollywood that i just can't get enough of. the colors in the scenery and clothes are pretty unbelievable and the music is bangin', but i think what i love most about the indian movie scene is the following that the films gather. each screening of every movie is always packed. you would think that david beckham was performing a live striptease for free from the overwhelming attendance. and, the audience actively responds to the movie. people are always shouting out during really intense scenes, advising the characters on what to do. AND PEOPLE DANCE IN THE AISLES DURING THE MIDDLE OF THE MOVIE. it's incredible. the music is that good that people just get up and break it down at anytime during the film. the other week, i saw this movie called "dil bole hadippa", translating to "the heart says hooray". it's basically the indian version of "she's the man", except instead of playing soccer, they're playing cricket. words can't express how good it was. berkeley-- it's better than "practical magic". guppy-- it's better than "ironman".
4. my host family.
yeah. how cute am i for saying this? but really. me and my peeps are getting really tight. the other week, we went out to dinner and my host mom held my hand ALL THE WAY until we got to the table. ALSO-- after dinner, we got all of these sweets and my host sister-in-law fed me with her hands (!!!). this may sound a lil unclean (like everything in this country), but it's actually a bigtime compliment and MAJOR bonding agent. feeding someone with your hands is a symbol of friendship and love-- that person physically wants to give you nourishment because they value you. i almost choked on my sweet i was so excited. more good news-- i bought my family this cheese spread because i finished off the container that we had at the house (not surprising...) and my host mom just about passed out she was so excited/flattered that i had brought it upon myself to buy more. BIG STRIDES IN FRIENDSHIP, BIG STRIDES.
5. the SIT staff.
ok. i know this post is getting really gushy and sentimental, but before you call me a suck-up, let me describe my relationship with these fine, fine people. these are the peeps who received me straight off the airplane in delhi and sheltered me during my first week in india that can be described only as one, big panic attack. these are the people who i turn to when i have any problem-- stomach ache, cell phone issues, need for stapler, hindi extra help, shopping advice, etc. these are the people who laugh with me (and sometimes at me) because they understand and realize that my life is one huge series of ridiculous situations stitched together. these are the people who have started calling my "bhahut komal". as i previously mentioned, my hindi name "komal" means "soft" and "bhahut" means "extra" or "very". aka, they're calling my "extra soft". i'm going to assume that it's because there's a popular advertisement for soap on TV that now coins the phrase "bhahut komal" and not because i'm gaining weight like a bear ready for hibernation. they are all temporary moms and dads but we all love them like they've been in our family since day one of our lives.
basically, india suits me really well.
lots of love to ya,
ccf
Friday, October 2, 2009
here, there, everywhere.
OK FOLKS. little komal is back from a big trip west of jaipur. SIT took us on a week-long excursion to jodhpur, jaisalmer, and bikaner to visit NGOs and spark ideas for our month-long indepenent study that will take place from November to December. the trip was over 2,000 kilometers in total and we caravaned in 4 small cars, aka if anyone on our program wasn't close before, they are now.
jodhpur was our first stop. it's a really beautiful city that reminds me a lot of jaipur. lots of history, lots of big markets, lots of activity all the time. on the night we arrived, we had a candle-lit dinner on the roof of this massive fort. SIT rented out the entire rooftop and we had an exclusive view of the city-- we were basically looking down on all of jodhpur. i hate to be so dumb and touristy, but this was one night that i really never will forget. you can't even make up in your head what the view from our dinner tables was like. we could see all of jodhpur below--buildings and neighborhoods were sprawling and stretching all the way up to the edge of the night's dark blue horizon line. everything was lit up and alive and twinkling. moreover, there was a religious festival going on, so fireworks were everywhere in the sky. i feel safe saying that it was the most beautiful thing/view/setting that i've ever seen.
jodhpur also offers several well-established NGOs that are doing wonderful work. in association with the GRAVIS organization, we visited a slum filled with indians who had lost all of their rights when the border between pakistan and india was created. essentially, these people commuted or lived in pakistan for work but held indian citizenship. when the border was set up without any warning or notice, these people were labeled as pakistanis, denied their rights as indian citizens, and ostracized to the outskirts of town. their story is heartbreaking and frustrating and illustrates the vast amount of human rights work that needs to be done here.
the next stop on our trip was jaisalmer. this small town is straight up in the desert, and what were we to do but RIDE CAMELS. that's right. camel safari through the desert in your face. our group saddled up on a herd of these large, lumpy animals and headed into the sand dunes of the thar desert. i felt like indiana jones minus fighting robbers of ancient archeological artifacts. yes, after the ride, i did smell like i had been living in the butt of a camel for a few months, but that lingering aroma was well worth the desert sunset that i witnessed.
our final destination was bikaner, and while, in my opinion, this was the least attractive of all the cities, the NGO experience i had here was the most affecting. the URMUL organization started as a dairy cooperative that expanded into a group of smaller, local community run buisnesses that work to acheive self-sustainability, empowerment of local people, and empowerment of women. URMUL had so much to offer-- from textile manufacturing to an impressive eye clinic-- but the aspect of this NGO that i was most moved by was the girl's "camp" it had established.
basically, the URMUL trust provided the financial backing to set up a school in a village near bikaner. attended by only females, this school provides an education for girls who would never have the opportunity to receive schooling because of their rural, remote location, the financial burden of getting an education, or because their parents didn't want them to go to school. believe it or not, it is such a fight to get girls in the classroom. india is a male dominated society where women are constantly undervalued and unappreciated, especially in villages and rural areas. many village families see no need to send their female children to school because a) they don't value them enough to do so, and, b) they need them to stay home and help the family make some monetary profit by doing manual labor. URMUL staff and recruiters basically go into villages, inform families of the camp and all of it's benefits, and convince mothers and fathers that it's worth it to send their daughters away. at the camp, the girls stay and board there for 7 months and their families only have to pay 300 rupees (about $6) for housing, food, and education. it's just a liiiiittle less that sewanee.
when we arrived at the school's small complex, we immediately sat down on the floor of a large classroom that was filled with the entire student body. there were 16 of us facing 150+ of them. they were all so young and happy and excited. their faces were about to break they were smiling so hard. we had a quick question and answer session during which the girls told us how fortunate they felt to be there and how much confidence they've gained from being in school. one girl stood up and talked about how at first, she missed her village and was homesick for her family. but now, this was her family-- these girls were her family. and while she cried in the beginning because she had to stay, she would now cry at the end of 7 months because she has to leave.
as if this wasn't touching enough, the girls then sang us a song. 6 individuals came up to the front of the room and started the group off-- it was kind of a "repeat after me" song where the 6 girls in front facing the crowd would lead off with a verse and then the crowd would answer that verse with another verse. 150+ voices in one closed room is an incredible sound. the crowd was in unison with their responses and they would pump their fist together in the air as they sang. it was beyond moving-- all of these underprivledged girls coming together as one loud voice, singing at us, speaking to us, with white-toothed smiles and bright eyes.
even before our teachers could translate the song, all of us here crying hard, happy tears. literally, streaming down my face. it was worse than when i saw "free willy" for the first time. our teachers then told us that the song was about women's empowerment and how no matter what obstacles the girls face, no matter what setbacks they encounter, no matter how many times they are told they're inferior, they will succeed, they will keep learning, they will be somebody.
YEAH. CRYFEST 2009.
the entire thing seemed from a movie. it's so amazing that a school like this can exist because some people decided to defer a portion of their dairy profits to the greater good of the community. what an idea.
also, visiting the girl's school reminded me a lot of rockbrook. in setting like this, you realize how important it is for girls to experience being in a safe place surrounded exclusively by other females. they became a system of support, a source of information, and a reliable group of friends for each other. just like at the school, girls who go to rockbrook find themselves away from their homes, families, and circles of comfort. initially, the transition might be difficult, but when it comes time to leave and go back home, girls find themselves wondering where the time has gone and can't imagine their lives without this experience. the impact that a setting like this has on young women is so, so positive-- building confidence and promoting great personal growth.
so, i guess you could say it was a good week. i guess.
i won't be posting again until at least thursday. we're going on another excursion with SIT to ranthambore. hope all is so, so well with you.
miss you, love you, mean it,
ccf
jodhpur was our first stop. it's a really beautiful city that reminds me a lot of jaipur. lots of history, lots of big markets, lots of activity all the time. on the night we arrived, we had a candle-lit dinner on the roof of this massive fort. SIT rented out the entire rooftop and we had an exclusive view of the city-- we were basically looking down on all of jodhpur. i hate to be so dumb and touristy, but this was one night that i really never will forget. you can't even make up in your head what the view from our dinner tables was like. we could see all of jodhpur below--buildings and neighborhoods were sprawling and stretching all the way up to the edge of the night's dark blue horizon line. everything was lit up and alive and twinkling. moreover, there was a religious festival going on, so fireworks were everywhere in the sky. i feel safe saying that it was the most beautiful thing/view/setting that i've ever seen.
jodhpur also offers several well-established NGOs that are doing wonderful work. in association with the GRAVIS organization, we visited a slum filled with indians who had lost all of their rights when the border between pakistan and india was created. essentially, these people commuted or lived in pakistan for work but held indian citizenship. when the border was set up without any warning or notice, these people were labeled as pakistanis, denied their rights as indian citizens, and ostracized to the outskirts of town. their story is heartbreaking and frustrating and illustrates the vast amount of human rights work that needs to be done here.
the next stop on our trip was jaisalmer. this small town is straight up in the desert, and what were we to do but RIDE CAMELS. that's right. camel safari through the desert in your face. our group saddled up on a herd of these large, lumpy animals and headed into the sand dunes of the thar desert. i felt like indiana jones minus fighting robbers of ancient archeological artifacts. yes, after the ride, i did smell like i had been living in the butt of a camel for a few months, but that lingering aroma was well worth the desert sunset that i witnessed.
our final destination was bikaner, and while, in my opinion, this was the least attractive of all the cities, the NGO experience i had here was the most affecting. the URMUL organization started as a dairy cooperative that expanded into a group of smaller, local community run buisnesses that work to acheive self-sustainability, empowerment of local people, and empowerment of women. URMUL had so much to offer-- from textile manufacturing to an impressive eye clinic-- but the aspect of this NGO that i was most moved by was the girl's "camp" it had established.
basically, the URMUL trust provided the financial backing to set up a school in a village near bikaner. attended by only females, this school provides an education for girls who would never have the opportunity to receive schooling because of their rural, remote location, the financial burden of getting an education, or because their parents didn't want them to go to school. believe it or not, it is such a fight to get girls in the classroom. india is a male dominated society where women are constantly undervalued and unappreciated, especially in villages and rural areas. many village families see no need to send their female children to school because a) they don't value them enough to do so, and, b) they need them to stay home and help the family make some monetary profit by doing manual labor. URMUL staff and recruiters basically go into villages, inform families of the camp and all of it's benefits, and convince mothers and fathers that it's worth it to send their daughters away. at the camp, the girls stay and board there for 7 months and their families only have to pay 300 rupees (about $6) for housing, food, and education. it's just a liiiiittle less that sewanee.
when we arrived at the school's small complex, we immediately sat down on the floor of a large classroom that was filled with the entire student body. there were 16 of us facing 150+ of them. they were all so young and happy and excited. their faces were about to break they were smiling so hard. we had a quick question and answer session during which the girls told us how fortunate they felt to be there and how much confidence they've gained from being in school. one girl stood up and talked about how at first, she missed her village and was homesick for her family. but now, this was her family-- these girls were her family. and while she cried in the beginning because she had to stay, she would now cry at the end of 7 months because she has to leave.
as if this wasn't touching enough, the girls then sang us a song. 6 individuals came up to the front of the room and started the group off-- it was kind of a "repeat after me" song where the 6 girls in front facing the crowd would lead off with a verse and then the crowd would answer that verse with another verse. 150+ voices in one closed room is an incredible sound. the crowd was in unison with their responses and they would pump their fist together in the air as they sang. it was beyond moving-- all of these underprivledged girls coming together as one loud voice, singing at us, speaking to us, with white-toothed smiles and bright eyes.
even before our teachers could translate the song, all of us here crying hard, happy tears. literally, streaming down my face. it was worse than when i saw "free willy" for the first time. our teachers then told us that the song was about women's empowerment and how no matter what obstacles the girls face, no matter what setbacks they encounter, no matter how many times they are told they're inferior, they will succeed, they will keep learning, they will be somebody.
YEAH. CRYFEST 2009.
the entire thing seemed from a movie. it's so amazing that a school like this can exist because some people decided to defer a portion of their dairy profits to the greater good of the community. what an idea.
also, visiting the girl's school reminded me a lot of rockbrook. in setting like this, you realize how important it is for girls to experience being in a safe place surrounded exclusively by other females. they became a system of support, a source of information, and a reliable group of friends for each other. just like at the school, girls who go to rockbrook find themselves away from their homes, families, and circles of comfort. initially, the transition might be difficult, but when it comes time to leave and go back home, girls find themselves wondering where the time has gone and can't imagine their lives without this experience. the impact that a setting like this has on young women is so, so positive-- building confidence and promoting great personal growth.
so, i guess you could say it was a good week. i guess.
i won't be posting again until at least thursday. we're going on another excursion with SIT to ranthambore. hope all is so, so well with you.
miss you, love you, mean it,
ccf
Monday, September 7, 2009
the events of 9.6.09 as chronicled in my journal.
i am officially a part of a family, which is thrilling considering that me and the rest of my SIT group have been living from guesthouse to guesthouse--travelling nomadically around delhi and jaipur like nomads. we, not really. we've obviously been well taken care of with SIT, but it's nice to have a long term home to come back to.
right, so-- my family! my host brother picked me up from the school and took me to my place of residence for the next two months, aka his mther house. he and his wife and son (named aadhi--i'm obsessed with him) all live with his mother, mridul ji. my host brother has obviously done well for himself-- he owns a buisness that ships products to a variety of countries. his wife, who by the way is 7 months pregnant and due december 10, is a french teacher/jewelrey designer-- a real renaissance woman. their son aadhi is 4 and i am actually his new, constant playdate. we played for a good 2 hours last night trying to assemble a massive toy called "roboreptile".
i enjoy aadhi's company for several reasons: a) he's hilarious and sassy. b) he's trying to learn english so he doesn't expect me to speak hindi to him, not that i could if i tried. and c) our conversations aren't awkward because we both know that we can't understand each other. so basically, we talk in our native languages to each other at the same time. unlike the uncomfortable silence/pause/lull that occurs in a conversation when two people speak the same language, aadhi and i chatter constantly...despite the fact that both of us have zero idea as to what the other is saying.
mridul ji, my host mother is an extremely educated woman who teaches law at the rajasthani university. she's been a window for 2 years and it's still a mystery to me how her husband passed. she's a quiet woman who is very much interested in academics, meaning that i really have to use my brain when i'm talking with her. as you can imagine, my intellect only stretches so far each day, leaving me speechless--more like conversationless--in the face of mridul ji's interests. not to mention that when i get nervous, aka all the time around my host family, i forget how to talk, so a lot of my social interaction with the family is me smiling at aadhi, regardless if what he's doing even merits a smile which THEN makes me look like a CREEP. mridul ji's mother in law also lives in the house. she's so, so sweet and always talks to me, but she's 90+ years old, is blind in one eye, an speaks broken english. this means that i can only catch every other word she says. take this morning for instance-- she was talking to me and all i heard was "black man" and "mexican", leaving me very confused as to what conversation we were having. but they are all so, so nice and happy to have me invade for 2 months.
more importantly, today marks the first of many days in which i was lost beyond belief. yeah. big time. the saddest part was that i was literally a bock away from my house the entire time. here's the story-- i left the house today because a) i was sick of being awkward, and b) i needed to recharge my cell phone mintues. so, mridul ji and her son drove me to the mall which is legit a 5 min walk from their the house-- they were on their way to temple. so, being the thinker that i am, i really didn't pay attention to how we were getting from the house to the mall. it was 10am and i told mridul ji that i would be back in a few hours. i was meeting my friend amanda at the mall becasue her host family lives in a nearby neigborhood. SO- i met up with amanda and we boy around for a few hours, feelign more and more like the minority every second.
let's talk about that. have you ever been the minority in an environment? i mean physically speaking-- you are obviously different becasue of the way you look? i've been to cuba, mexico, and europe and have certainly gotten a few stares but NOTHING like this. the whole caucasian, blonde thing is really making me an obvious foreigner. and yes, the white skin does work for me in certain ways. according to azim ji, indians automatically associate white skin with wealth and high class. but in a place where i just want to work and live alongside with everyone as a student, my appearance definitely hinders teh equality and normalcy i'm looking for. everyone is so caught up with me being american. everyone also probably thinks that i'm a big sloot because in bollywood movies, the permiscuous girls are always white.
SO, after a few hours of amanda and i being looked at like pieces of meat, i get a call from mridul ji. she sayd that they've been waiting for me and are ready to eat lunch. GREAT first impression catherine. i apologize profusely and tell her that i'm on my way. as i'm speed walking out of the mall, i realize that i'm pretty clueless as to how to get home. i don't have the full address with me, but in my head i've got the following phrase: "C-363 pradham marg". hoping to stumble upon the neightborhood, i walk back and forth and up and down and left and right trying to find this damn house. i wave off all autorickshaw drivers because i'm determined to get there all-be-self and i'm convinced that my house is just around some bend, somewhere.
well, it wasn't. i knew i was in the right area, but could not for the life of me find the house/street. after passing many a sketchy looking group fo men, i finally decide to ask these 2 guys on the side of the road for help. sidebar: when i don't know the native language, and when i think that people can't understand my english, i tend to shout. i have a feeling i broke some eardrums when i yelled "DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH????" at these 2 men. i normally feel quite dumb when i do this, but when one of them answered "Yes", i felt like a real idiot. he and his friend debated for a while on how to get there (i assume because i have ZERO idea what they're saying). one of the men told me "Come" and i followed him down the street to a family clustered around some bikes. he talked to them in hindi/urdu and then turned to me and said "C-363. are you certain?" it was then that i convinced myself that i had made up the number in my head and i was never going to make it back to aadhi and the roboreptile, but i just nodded "Yes" instead.
he talked to the family for a bit longer and then a young boy from the family stepped forward and said "OK? follow." so then, i start following this child around the neighborhod, wondering how an infant would be able to find me home. i started feeling pretty helpless and decided to use what little hindi i knew to boost my confidence and restore some sense of dignity. "apka nam kya he?" i asked him, meaning "what is your name?" "abu," was his response. instead of asking him if he knew that he shared the same name as the monkey in aladdin, i told him that my name was ,"kommal." while we were having this pleasant exchange, we passed by a group of neighborhood boys, who started laughing and saying things to my helpful little abu. i assumed it wasn't good when i saw him lower his head, and wanted to give him all my rupees on the spot for being such a dumb american. but he was a trooper--as soon as we rounded the corner, and it was socially acceptable to talk to me, he was my pal again. three more minutes of walking and we were at my homestay. i gave him 200 rupees and a huge high five and walked up to the front door. keep in mind that it was close to 103 degrees outside while i was a lost sheep, a.k.a. i looked like a hot mess when i rang the doorbell. aadhi answered the door while shoving cake into my mouth, and i knew things would be alright.
tomorrow marks the first day of school, which i am very excited for. it will allow for less awkward interactions with my family. i need to learn hindi asap.
right, so-- my family! my host brother picked me up from the school and took me to my place of residence for the next two months, aka his mther house. he and his wife and son (named aadhi--i'm obsessed with him) all live with his mother, mridul ji. my host brother has obviously done well for himself-- he owns a buisness that ships products to a variety of countries. his wife, who by the way is 7 months pregnant and due december 10, is a french teacher/jewelrey designer-- a real renaissance woman. their son aadhi is 4 and i am actually his new, constant playdate. we played for a good 2 hours last night trying to assemble a massive toy called "roboreptile".
i enjoy aadhi's company for several reasons: a) he's hilarious and sassy. b) he's trying to learn english so he doesn't expect me to speak hindi to him, not that i could if i tried. and c) our conversations aren't awkward because we both know that we can't understand each other. so basically, we talk in our native languages to each other at the same time. unlike the uncomfortable silence/pause/lull that occurs in a conversation when two people speak the same language, aadhi and i chatter constantly...despite the fact that both of us have zero idea as to what the other is saying.
mridul ji, my host mother is an extremely educated woman who teaches law at the rajasthani university. she's been a window for 2 years and it's still a mystery to me how her husband passed. she's a quiet woman who is very much interested in academics, meaning that i really have to use my brain when i'm talking with her. as you can imagine, my intellect only stretches so far each day, leaving me speechless--more like conversationless--in the face of mridul ji's interests. not to mention that when i get nervous, aka all the time around my host family, i forget how to talk, so a lot of my social interaction with the family is me smiling at aadhi, regardless if what he's doing even merits a smile which THEN makes me look like a CREEP. mridul ji's mother in law also lives in the house. she's so, so sweet and always talks to me, but she's 90+ years old, is blind in one eye, an speaks broken english. this means that i can only catch every other word she says. take this morning for instance-- she was talking to me and all i heard was "black man" and "mexican", leaving me very confused as to what conversation we were having. but they are all so, so nice and happy to have me invade for 2 months.
more importantly, today marks the first of many days in which i was lost beyond belief. yeah. big time. the saddest part was that i was literally a bock away from my house the entire time. here's the story-- i left the house today because a) i was sick of being awkward, and b) i needed to recharge my cell phone mintues. so, mridul ji and her son drove me to the mall which is legit a 5 min walk from their the house-- they were on their way to temple. so, being the thinker that i am, i really didn't pay attention to how we were getting from the house to the mall. it was 10am and i told mridul ji that i would be back in a few hours. i was meeting my friend amanda at the mall becasue her host family lives in a nearby neigborhood. SO- i met up with amanda and we boy around for a few hours, feelign more and more like the minority every second.
let's talk about that. have you ever been the minority in an environment? i mean physically speaking-- you are obviously different becasue of the way you look? i've been to cuba, mexico, and europe and have certainly gotten a few stares but NOTHING like this. the whole caucasian, blonde thing is really making me an obvious foreigner. and yes, the white skin does work for me in certain ways. according to azim ji, indians automatically associate white skin with wealth and high class. but in a place where i just want to work and live alongside with everyone as a student, my appearance definitely hinders teh equality and normalcy i'm looking for. everyone is so caught up with me being american. everyone also probably thinks that i'm a big sloot because in bollywood movies, the permiscuous girls are always white.
SO, after a few hours of amanda and i being looked at like pieces of meat, i get a call from mridul ji. she sayd that they've been waiting for me and are ready to eat lunch. GREAT first impression catherine. i apologize profusely and tell her that i'm on my way. as i'm speed walking out of the mall, i realize that i'm pretty clueless as to how to get home. i don't have the full address with me, but in my head i've got the following phrase: "C-363 pradham marg". hoping to stumble upon the neightborhood, i walk back and forth and up and down and left and right trying to find this damn house. i wave off all autorickshaw drivers because i'm determined to get there all-be-self and i'm convinced that my house is just around some bend, somewhere.
well, it wasn't. i knew i was in the right area, but could not for the life of me find the house/street. after passing many a sketchy looking group fo men, i finally decide to ask these 2 guys on the side of the road for help. sidebar: when i don't know the native language, and when i think that people can't understand my english, i tend to shout. i have a feeling i broke some eardrums when i yelled "DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH????" at these 2 men. i normally feel quite dumb when i do this, but when one of them answered "Yes", i felt like a real idiot. he and his friend debated for a while on how to get there (i assume because i have ZERO idea what they're saying). one of the men told me "Come" and i followed him down the street to a family clustered around some bikes. he talked to them in hindi/urdu and then turned to me and said "C-363. are you certain?" it was then that i convinced myself that i had made up the number in my head and i was never going to make it back to aadhi and the roboreptile, but i just nodded "Yes" instead.
he talked to the family for a bit longer and then a young boy from the family stepped forward and said "OK? follow." so then, i start following this child around the neighborhod, wondering how an infant would be able to find me home. i started feeling pretty helpless and decided to use what little hindi i knew to boost my confidence and restore some sense of dignity. "apka nam kya he?" i asked him, meaning "what is your name?" "abu," was his response. instead of asking him if he knew that he shared the same name as the monkey in aladdin, i told him that my name was ,"kommal." while we were having this pleasant exchange, we passed by a group of neighborhood boys, who started laughing and saying things to my helpful little abu. i assumed it wasn't good when i saw him lower his head, and wanted to give him all my rupees on the spot for being such a dumb american. but he was a trooper--as soon as we rounded the corner, and it was socially acceptable to talk to me, he was my pal again. three more minutes of walking and we were at my homestay. i gave him 200 rupees and a huge high five and walked up to the front door. keep in mind that it was close to 103 degrees outside while i was a lost sheep, a.k.a. i looked like a hot mess when i rang the doorbell. aadhi answered the door while shoving cake into my mouth, and i knew things would be alright.
tomorrow marks the first day of school, which i am very excited for. it will allow for less awkward interactions with my family. i need to learn hindi asap.
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